Dropping the rope
There are times that I liken the past and all the negative memories to an old rope that will always lead me back to those unwanted thoughts – if I allow it.
When we look from the inside of us, we will see the unique desire to get all things right and continually strive to end up with the very best that life has to offer.
Giving permission for the past to creep inside of us and cause us unwanted pain is always our choice. This so-called need to make someone pay for this pain is, at best, unconscious confusion and a lashing-out in uncontrolled anger.
Healing never comes from the outside or, in other words, from revenge. It must form a nucleus from the inside of us so that the “healing seed” can be placed and begin to grow on fertile ground. This healing seed must be planted by us alone and placed in the inner most recesses of our being.
Since we are not usually damaged physically, it is then our soul or inner self that requires repair. Since it seems intangible or like something we cannot see, the painful feelings manifest themselves much stronger and thus become more difficult to focus on its root core.
To first of all believe that you have the strength and power from inside of you to overcome this pain is paramount. It will also begin to stop you when you constantly lash out at others. Usually those you love most because they are closest to you at the time. Like clock work, every two or three weeks, you lash out, hurt others and to you it is like lancing a festering boil.
It drains and you feel okay again for a while. This daisy chain of abuse will not stop until you tackle your pain head on. You will have the strength to wrestle your pain and hurt to the ground and deliberately pin the blame directly to where it belongs.
I had a woman once that lashed out at me like clock work until I helped her look inside, only to have her remember that at the age of 5, her father had repeatedly sexually abused her. It wasn’t until that point in her life that she allowed herself to remember that terrible pain! It was only then that she could begin to plant the healing seed.
Simply stated, the innocent ones around you now do not deserve your searing attacks. It is something like watching a cougar coming at you to attack and instead of defending yourself and loved one, you turn and attack your loved one.
Misguided missile or what? Way, way off target and you, my friend, end up with a law of diminishing returns. With this destructive approach, you literally destroy yourself and those around you.
Wow! That certainly gives your “pain-maker” from years gone by a lot of power.
Let the inside of you take that power away forever. You will never need to pick up that old dirty rope again. You can leave it where it belongs.
Then and only then will you allow your loved ones to love you as they should be able to.
The choice is always yours.